The True Meaning of Starlight
by Wordmage Kazzidae
Summary: Set in the Star Guardian AU, this is an account of what happens the day after the events of Starfall. Lux is still coming to terms with the challenges posed by Ahri's team - and the significance behind the secrets they hold.


Despite the beaming sun, cool breeze and lush forest of Camp Targon all around her, Lux was not enjoying being in the great outdoors. Leaning in the shade of a tree with her bags on the ground beside her, Lux glared with arms crossed in the direction of the path that led to the main part of the camp, on the other side of the wide clearing that formed the entrance to the camp. The fact that this path remained stubbornly empty seemed to be having a negative effect on her mood.

"Can't they follow the simplest instructions?" she muttered bitterly to herself. "I gave them a place and a time and they couldn't even handle that much."

This complaining was but a thin mask for the same fear she'd had before: that she simply wasn't cut out to be the leader of this team. After seeing what Ahri was capable of as a leader she was only becoming more convinced of this - and, even worse, she was afraid that the rest of her team was beginning to feel the same way.

Lux perked up, seeing somebody come around the curve in the path - and her heart fell just as quickly when she saw that it was Ahri and her team, talking and laughing as they went. Lux couldn't for the life of her fathom how Ahri led her team-mates so effortessly, as though it was only natural that she should be at the centre of everything, influencing all around her just by being there. As much as Lux hated to admit it she wanted that kind of presence: a personality so unavoidable it drew others towards her as if by gravity, a voice that commanded respect even at its quietest whisper.

After seeing their performance last night Lux couldn't help but be envious of how in-tune Ahri's entire team was. This led her down a treacherous line of thought: was Ahri simply luckier in the team-mates she'd gained? Would Lux have an easier time if she hadn't been saddled with such a dysfunctional team? As much as she hated to think it, it genuinely did seem as though Ahri's friends were quite simply better at the whole Star Guardian thing. True, they were more experienced, but... Lux was having a hard time imagining Jinx ever being that disciplined or Lulu being that focused, even with a whole bunch more experience. Even Poppy and Janna, who took their duties seriously, contributed somewhat to the dysfunction by acting so distant. How could a team that was constantly looking in different directions move as one?

"Oh hey, look who it is!"

Lux was shaken out of her dark thoughts by a voice that had it been on its own would have been quite welcome. Ezreal came jogging across the clearing, that same winning smile on his face as when they'd first met.

"Hey Lux." He stopped a few steps short of Lux - far enough away to be respectful but still far too close for Lux's comfort. "Whatcha doing out here on your own? The buses'll be here soon."

This was a fact of which Lux was painfully aware, but nonetheless she summoned her best pleasant smile. She wondered how forced it looked to Ezreal. "Oh, you know, just enjoying the scenery for a bit before we go back," she said, trying and not completely failing to sound chirpy.

"Shouldn't your team be with you?" If Lux's heart had merely sunk before it had now touched the bottom of the sea at Syndra's barbed words. Ahri's team stopped and arrayed themselves in a semi-circle before Lux, making her feel as though she was standing trial. "I seem to remember telling you that you're responsible for making sure they behave."

"It's all right, they know when and where to be," said Lux. 'Whether they'll actually turn up is another matter,' she added in her head. "I'm sure they're just finishing up some last-minute business."

Syndra's eyes suggested that she was less than entirely convinced by Lux's show of faith in her team-mates, but thankfully any further stinging reprimands were pre-empted by Ahri. "How're you holding up?" she asked, somehow voicing concern without sounding in the least bit solicitous. "Any... problems left over from last night?"

Lux was a bit surprised by this; she'd naturally assumed that Ahri only cared about her wellbeing insofar as keeping Lux's team-mates off her back was concerned. To hear Ahri ask after her even now was unexpected, even if she did give a mighty fine impression of not caring that much. "Uh - no, thank you," said Lux, bowing her head to Ahri.

"Don't thank me - that was all Soraka." Ahri nodded her head sideways towards the quiet mint-haired girl. Soraka smiled shyly at Lux, making Lux in turn feel sheepish for having imposed. "If it wasn't for her healing magic we'd've been finished long ago."  
"I'm sure that isn't true," said Soraka, looking down at her entwined fingers bashfully. "A lot of the time I feel like I'm a burden on you all; it feels like you're constantly rescuing me from threats I can't handle myself."

"Hey." Everyone present jumped at Sarah's sudden, loud interjection - except Ahri, Lux realised, who instead smiled quietly to herself. The self-styled Miss Fortune moved to confront Soraka directly, hands on hips and bold as brass. "Quit being so down on yourself 'Raka, you know it pisses me off - and you also know we wouldn't have accepted you onto the team if you weren't useful. Us saving you doesn't mean you're a burden, it means that you're too valuable not to save. So lose the gloomy attitude, okay?"

Soraka looked shocked at being so brazenly lectured in front of a relative stranger, but happy at Sarah's tough love nonetheless. "Okay," said Soraka quietly. Sarah nodded, apparently satisfied.

As she watched that small smile form on Soraka's lips, Lux felt an intense envy; she couldn't even begin to imagine anyone on her team doing something like that for the others. Despite the conflicting personalities on her team, Ahri had moulded this group of disparate characters into a cohesive unit, one that worked together as though it was second nature. Lux so dearly wanted that bond, not just between herself and her team-mates but between them as well. This was the difference between a constellation and a random handful of scattered stars.

"Now that's done, weren't we going to get drinks before we go?" said Sarah, cutting through the awkwardness with decisive force.

"Sure, I could do with one," said Ezreal brightly. "Wanna come with, Lux? The vending machine's just over at the info centre, so you'll be back in time to catch your team for sure."

Lux would have actually highly preferred that everyone ELSE go to get drinks and Ezreal stay there with her, but the chances of her actually saying that out loud were less than zero. "I'm fine, thanks," she said in as neutral a tone as possible.

"Well all right, see you in a bit." They turned to leave.

"Actually..." Ahri and company stopped mid-turn - surprisingly enough it had been Soraka who spoke. "...why don't you leave your bags here and let me look after them? There's no sense in lugging them around when you're just going to come back."

The crew exchanged glances. With an unspoken consensus of 'sure, why not?' they offloaded their luggage in a pile beside Soraka.

"We'll get the usual for you," said Ahri casually to Soraka, turning again to leave.

"Thanks." Soraka beamed at her team-mates' backs as they left.

Silence prevailed for a while, punctuated only by the sounds of nature. Lux tried to look across at Soraka without making it too obvious that she was looking. Out of all of Ahri's friends Soraka was one of the less objectionable choices, but that didn't make the silence any less awkward.

"Thank you," Lux blurted out, unable to stand it any longer.

Soraka pinwheeled around in surprise. "F- For what?"

"For last night. You know. The whole... me almost dying thing," said Lux, suddenly finding the process of speaking more painful than treading on Legos.

"Oh. Of course. I wouldn't ever leave a fellow Star Guardian in that condition," said Soraka, gracefully tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She suddenly looked and sounded a lot more confident, very much at odds with her earlier shyness. Courage manifests in many ways, Lux reflected. "To be honest, I don't think I would'vebeen able to save you without Janna and Lulu's help."

Lux blinked. "They helped you?"

"Ahri didn't tell you? They added their healing magic to my own. Although healing is pretty much the only thing I can do, Janna was even able to give me some tips. She must be a very experienced Guardian; you're lucky to have her on your team," said Soraka earnestly.

"Yes... I am," said Lux slowly, her thoughts racing.

"Your other team-mates tried to help as well, although there wasn't much they could do. I think they felt frustrated about that, especially the red one. Jinx, is it?"

"That's her," Lux answered levelly, letting Soraka say what she clearly wanted to say. This conversation was turning out to be a lot more enlightening than she'd anticipated.

"She tried to act tough about it, but I could see she was deeply upset at seeing you so badly hurt. The blue Yordle, Poppy, kept beating herself up saying she could've done more to protect you. They care about you very much." Soraka smiled sweetly - and on an already sweet face the combined effect was sweeter than a parfait.

But one thing didn't fit. "I appreciate it - really, I do - but... why are you telling me this?" asked Lux.

Soraka looked aside for a moment, as though considering whether she should answer. "Well, you... you just seemed a bit down. Nothing cheers people up like knowing that their friends care about them, right?"

Lux was taken completely off-guard. She remembered seeing Ahri's crew for the first time yesterday, but at the time she'd been a bit too concerned with other matters to wonder why such a kind-looking girl would be hanging with such an arrogant and self-centred bunch. Of course, Lux knew differently now, but there were still many questions left unanswered.

"Um... are you okay?" asked Soraka, tilting her head quizzically. Lux had been silent for a good few seconds, staying so perfectly still as to appear a statue.

When Lux next spoke she did so very deliberately, not wanting to ruin the peaceable relation she had - through happy chance - managed to secure with Soraka. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but... when I woke this morning, Ahri spoke with me. She made it very clear that she has no intention of joining our teams together - she even seemed to say that it would be better for everyone if we were to stay away from you. What kind of Star Guardian pushes away an ally?"

Soraka frowned in concern, hugging her arms to herself in a way that made Lux regret asking. "I... I'm not sure I know why. Although Ezreal is the newest member of the group, I'm still fairly new to this as well: Ahri, Sarah and Syndra all have their own private business going on that even I don't know about. I feel like they have a lot of history; a history that they aren't at all keen to let me in on."

"Yeah... I can sympathise," said Lux, thinking of one such member in her own team. So it seemed that Ahri's team also had its divisions. Perhaps they only seemed perfect on the surface? "I just want to understand what it is that we're really fighting here. I thought the Invasion was the only threat we have to face, but the way Ahri talks it's as though the Starlight itself is somehow to blame. That can't be right... can it?"

Soraka shifted her feet uncomfortably, a deeply troubled look on her face.

"I'm sorry. Forget I asked," said Lux quickly.

"No, it's fine," Soraka replied. "It isn't something I like to think about, given that I would have no power at all if I didn't place my faith wholly in the First Star, but... something terrible must have happened to the Star Guardians in the past." Lux nodded - even among all the uncertainties she knew this to be true, even if only by intuition. "You're right: the way Ahri talks, it feels as though she was betrayed and suffered greatly because of it. I think Sarah was there too, but if so she won't say anything about it. Not unless Ahri does first." Soraka smiled a strange, bittersweet smile. "Those two understand each other so well. It would be a very happy fact, were it not that their bond had been forged through such hardship. They fight with such zeal, as though the Starlight's sole intention is to be used as a weapon... part of me hopes I never learn the truth."

Lux puzzled over what she'd just learned. She'd learned... well, not much really. However, she had gained a different perspective. Sometimes finding the answer is a matter of assembling a jigsaw puzzle of perspectives that only make sense together.

"Thank you for trusting me, Soraka," said Lux, her smile genuine this time. "And don't worry - I promise I won't tell anyone else about this. I know you'd probably get in trouble if the others found out."

"That's all right," said Soraka. "In return, I promise not to tell Ezreal."

The colour drained from Lux's face. "Tell him? Tell him what?"

Soraka's smile acquired a playful aspect. "You really are an awful liar. Perhaps you should try being more honest?"

"I'm not-!" Lux shut herself up before she could make the situation any worse and turned away from Soraka to hide her face. She heard Soraka chuckling behind her.  
Soraka's team-mates soon returned, drinks in hand. Quite unexpectedly, Ahri came over to Lux and handed her one while the others talked amongst themselves.

"Oh... thank you," said Lux, taking it.

Ahri resisted her, the two of them standing with hands locked. Her eyes, visible only to Lux, had the dangerous light of a slumbering spark in them: this wasn't anger, not yet, but it could very easily become so.

"Something tells me you didn't take what I said seriously," said Ahri in a low voice. "I don't like repeating myself."

Lux swallowed, determined not to lose her temper as she had the last time. She met Ahri's gaze measure for measure. "If a stranger came to you and told you to disband your team for reasons they won't explain, would you do it?"

It lasted just for a moment, so fleeting Lux thought she might have imagined it, but she could've sworn she'd seen Ahri's lips twitch. There was a hint of amusement, something vicious and defiant. As much as it scared Lux to consider, that brief moment felt a lot more like Ahri's true self than the cool, composed mask she usually wore.

But before Lux could say anything more Ahri forcefully pulled her in close, so close that she could feel Ahri's breath on her ear. "The brighter you burn, the faster you fade," said Ahri, her whispered words rushing after each other in a fierce torrent. "Did you really think the First Star would give you power and not demand payment? If you still believe in keeping your friends alive like you did last night, you'll take them out of the fight. You. Are not. Strong enough."

Only then did Ahri release Lux. As they parted Lux saw a look on Ahri's face, the kind that warned that Ahri would have no scruples whatsoever about beating Lux into the dirt if that was what it took to make her back down. They were making such a scene now that everyone present was watching, but Lux was beyond caring: every line of Ahri's face clearly showed that she didn't think Lux a challenge - and the possibility that she might be right stabbed at Lux's heart like her nails stabbed into her palms.

"HEY! Get away from Lux, dirtbag!"

Lux spun around at the sound of Jinx's voice echoing across the clearing. She was running full pelt towards them, Lulu tucked neatly under her arm. Lulu, who for some reason was wearing a huge hat and holding it down with one hand, used the other hand to wave to the assembled company with a big smile on her face.

"Damn it Loops, stop being nice to them! They're our rivals, remember?" Jinx berated Lulu.

Lux just stared, barely registering Ezreal's laughter in the background. Suddenly, being angry felt extremely pointless.

"Oh look," said Ahri, suddenly casual again. "It's your faithful guard dog." She flashed Lux a cocky smile and then tossed the drink to her. Lux fumbled it, nonplussed as she was by the sudden turn in events, such that by the time she'd picked it up off the ground Ahri had already walked back to her team. "All right guys, get your bags; it's time to go."  
And indeed it was: Lux could hear, off in the distance, the distinct sound of buses rolling towards them. It appeared that her team-mates had arrived not a moment too soon; following on behind Jinx and Lulu at a much slower pace were Poppy and Janna, both of whom looked worn out.

Jinx, needless to say, got there first. "What was that fox trying? She didn't do anything to ya, did she?"

"No," said Lux tonelessly, feeling oddly drained of energy after the encounter with Ahri.

"But I saw her! She had you in a grab and everything! That girl has a serious attitude problem."

Choosing to forgo the obvious retort, Lux merely sighed and walked over to meet Janna and Poppy.

"Hey! Don't just ignore me!"

"Sorry we're late," said Janna in between deep breaths. "I know we said we'd look after those two for you, but they're such a handful."

"Jinx was running around with Lulu at the last minute, saying she had an idea," said Poppy, looking distinctly disgruntled. "If that idea was to make us late, I'd say it was a roaring success."

"It's fine, you're all here now," said Lux, feeling grateful that they were. "And I'm sorry, too. I should've been there helping you."

"No way am I letting an invalid handle those two!" said Poppy staunchly.

Lux arched an eyebrow. "Invalid? But I'm fine."

"You weren't last night!"

"If you'd seen how bad you looked after that attack..." Janna trailed off.

Lux took a breath and nodded. "I'm sorry for worrying you. But I will get stronger, I promise. And I'll help all of you do the same."

Janna gave Lux a lingering look. "...So what did you and Ahri talk about?"

Lux briskly shouldered her bag. "We'll talk about it on the bus."

"Wait, wait!" Jinx set Lulu down on the ground in front of Lux. "Before we go, one last thing."

Poppy glared at Jinx with laser-like intensity. "This had better be worth it."

"Oh, it is," said Jinx, grinning devilishly. "All right Lulu, do the thing!"

Beaming innocently, Lulu raised both hands to the big floppy hat she was wearing and took it off.

They stared at Lulu's head.

"What... have you done to her hair?" asked Lux.

"Is that a banana?" asked Janna, sounding alarmed.

"Geddit?" said Jinx, bouncing on her heels with excitement.

"Fruit? ...Oh you didn't," said Lux, feeling even less energetic than before.

Poppy looked up at Lux and asked in a very calm voice "Can I hit her?"

Lux looked at the drink in her hand. "Hey Jinx, want a soda?"

"Do I ever!"

Lux tossed it to her.

"Hey! You're not supposed to throw soda!" Jinx looked more closely at the can. "Does this have dirt on it? Eh, whatever."

Lux watched the other Star Guardians getting on their bus. Ahri, Sarah and Syndra got on first, studiously ignoring Lux's team. Ezreal saw her staring and flashed a smile at Lux, who was suddenly pretending to look anywhere else. But she looked back when she saw Soraka give her a small wave goodbye.

The universe had grown a little bit larger this summer, and goodness only knew how much larger it would get. There were still so many questions to be answered, but one thing was certain in Lux's mind: she and her team had to get stronger, not only to fight the Invasion but to show Ahri that they were worthy of respect. Perhaps the nature of the threat they were fighting had changed, but Lux believed with a certainty as eternal as the stars that the only way they would win was together.

As much as the very thought of Ahri made her angry, Lux couldn't bring herself to hate her. Ahri still bore the scars of some old wound, scars she shared with Sarah. Some day, Lux vowed to herself, she would become strong enough to banish the darkness that lay over their hearts and fight alongside them as the sisters they were meant to be. If she couldn't do that much, then what was the point of being a Star Guardian?


End file.
